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Monday, December 22, 2014

A Little Southern Lesson for our Yankee Brethren...

Hi there, it's C-pher again.  As most of everyone around me knows, I was born in the South.  I'm proud of my Southern Heritage.  I'm proud to say that I was raised with values, respect, and a healthy fear of my Momma...even at the age of 43.

So, I was talking to some of my Northern Friends about the difference between a, Good 'ole Boy, Redneck, Hillbilly, Southern Gentlemen, etc...So, let's see if we can help everyone out. 

As most of everyone that was raised down South knows, there's a pretty big difference between each of what most Northerners call, "A Redneck."  It seems that most of them up here think that everyone from the South is pretty much all the same.  So, today, I think that I"m going to give y'all a little lesson.  I might even throw in a few things that this here Southern Boy is tired of hearing as well.   Mostly because the lot of y'all think you're being funny, but you're not.  hahaha  Ok, sometimes.  But mostly, it's recycled old jokes.

Let's start with the differences between, as it's been called, "The sociological economic infrastructure of Dixie."

We'll start with the Redneck.  Rednecks are usually crude Southerners.  Not always raciest, but can be sometimes.  They generally have jobs and have a strong work ethic as they are happy to work an honest day's pay.  Hence the term, working outside, and that warm Southern Sun burning the back of the neck.  They are proud of the South, may or may not have a Confederate Battle Flag (commonly mistaken for the Star and Bars) hanging somewhere in or out of the house.  They are commonly mistaken for a white trash, but they aren't.  White Trash folk don't usually work, tend to be lazy, so there's a pretty big difference.  Don't call a Redneck white trash, as Rednecks are usually prone to violence.  Rednecks might or might not live in a trailer...but more often than not, are happy with living a modest life.  Though they do tend to go crazy over certain types of Country music and NASCAR and good 'ole beer drinkin'.   They can be loud and obnoxious, but some aren't and can be quite pleasant around the right people.  So, honestly, they seem to have a lot in common with you Yankees!  And as my buddies up here say, they consider themselves Northern Rednecks, but that will have to be a topic for another time.

Next we'll talk about Hillbillies.  These are good people, but they're from the what we Southerns call, "The Hills."  These are Southern Mountain folk.  They don't live in Swamps and chase alligators, like Discovery Channel would like you to believe.  They are from what we call, hollers.  While they can be a bit rough, for the most part Hillbillies are nice, honest, friendly people.  You will find that they are brutally honest and forthcoming.  While many can be under-educated, they make up for it with years of "real world" education from surviving on their own.

Now, we're going to talk about Good 'Ole Boys.  While the previous two categories can include both women and men, this group is your average white male Southerner.  Middle to Middle-Upper Class, College Educated and most likely went to a predominant Southern College (Hotty Toddy).  These are your common, all around fun loving Southern Boy.  Very comfortable with the outdoors, but can also hold their own with the Ivy League types as well.  Brought up with strong family values, a lot of respect, uses Sir/Ma'am often, hold doors open for ladies, etc...  He's the one that would get this expression said after him for doing something for a neighbor or friend.  "Did you see C-pher help cut Mrs. Johnson's lawn when her husband was in the hospital? He's such a good 'ole boy."

Now we have the Southern Gentleman.  This is someone that models himself after the history of his family.  Usually Plantation Owners from Southern Virginia, the Carolinas, Georgia, etc...  A Southern Gentleman never complains, never boastful, always stands up when a lady enters the room, overly chivalrous.  You can think of the Southern Gentleman as the original Metrosexual. If you want to think of the perfect example of the Southern Gentleman, my guess is that it would be Robert E. Lee.

Now, we can't leave out the ladies, and for that, we have the Southern Belle. These are women that are very good in higher social gatherings.  They do well in social graces and the finer things in life.  Most grew up in Beauty Pageants, Miss (insert city, state, America) competitions, and needs to be the center of attention.  She's going to be someone that likes to get her way, and will do it with the patter of her eyes.  But beware, they can nice, friendly and smile...but the more they smile, the more hatred there is behind that smile.  You might even hear a, "Bless their Heart" a few times while they look down their noses at you...and you might want to find out what that really means if you don't already.

Next is the Southern Lady.  This is going to be one of the most respected women in the South.  These are strong, independent women who won't pout if they didn't get their way. She's going to be educated, understand history, art, and things that matter more than materialistic items.  These are kind, gracious women that men notice when they walk into the room.  Not because they are demanding attention, but because they are well dressed, hold themselves together and smell nice using light but expensive perfumes.  They are always working to help out some charity or their church, but will never take credit for any of the work that they've done.

So, there's a breakdown of who's who in the South.


I hope that this has helped you understand the different people of the South.  I know that I've also learned a few things moving up here.  Things that I wish that you Yankees would understand.

First, Stop asking where my accent is, and why I don't sound like, "A Hick"  Just because I spent the majority of my life in the South, doesn't mean that we all have huge Southern Drawls.  Much like everyone that lives in Boston doesn't speak without using "Rs."  And yes, while there's that beautiful sound that only a Southerner sounds like, they don't all sound the same.  And while we may all sound the same to you, we can usually tell where you're from as soon as you open your mouth.  Eastern and Western TN can sound completely different for example...which sounds different than someone from Atlanta which is different that the Carolinas, that's different from Mississippi...get it?  Y'all can tell the difference between Boston to Rhode Island to New York...but to us...y'all are the ones that talk funny.

Second, Yes, Southerners wear Shoes, know what Cable is, and we don't know if our cousin is a good kisser.  We're normal people.  We have big cities, great wonderful cities with Rich History.  What would good Alternative Music and Hip Hop be if we didn't have Atlanta?  What would the first weekend in May be around the country if we didn't have Louisville and the Kentucky Derby?  Or Bourbon, without Lexington and the Bourbon Trail, we wouldn't have that nectar of the gods.  What would BBQ, Blues and Country be if it wasn't for Memphis and Nashville?   So Stop...we didn't live in the dark.

Third, We have big Cities down South. It wasn't weird moving into one as large at Boston. Surprisingly, we even have cities that are LARGER than Boston.  So, don't ask what's the difference being from this city or that.  We have better transportation systems than most Northern places.  Better Highways...and yes we have roads...NO, I DIDN'T RIDE A HORSE TO SCHOOL!  We did have buses, we had our parents driving normal cars, I didn't have to walk to school, up hill, both ways, barefoot.

Oh, and you thinking that we talk funny because we say Y'all?  Stop, it's a real word...and you're saying it wrong.  Let's be a little more creative if you want to make fun of us.


And lastly, stop thinking that our traditions around food are weirder than yours.  Yes, we had to salt cure things back then, and well...we still do that today.  There's nothing more yummy than Country Ham, Biscuits and Gravy, fried Eggs and butter...yes, we cook things in butter.  Get over it....butter's good.  AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY!  Stop trying to make BBQ...Just....STOP!

Southerners are a great bunch of people.  We care about our Country, we care about our fellow men.  And many do believe that we will rise again...haha


So, there's your Southern Lesson for the day.  If you have any good stories about the South, living in the South, misconceptions such as we all love Sweet Iced Tea...which I can't stand by the way.  I don't like my tea sweet, but I do love my Iced Tea (don't judge), then let me know.

Have a great Christmas and a Prosperous New Year!!

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